经典英语小笑话带翻译

2016-12-12

经典英语小笑话1

Young Johnny turned up late for Sunday school one morning and the teacher wanted to know why. "Well，I was going to fishing，but my dad wouldn’t let me，"said Johnny.

一天早上，小约翰星期天到学校上学时迟到了，老师想知道是怎么回事。

“I should think not，”replied the teacher."And did your father explain why you should not go fishing on this day2”

“是这样的，我本来要去钓鱼的，但爸爸不让我去。”约翰尼说。

“Oh yeah，”said Johnny.“He said he didn't have enough bait for both of us."

“我想今天你爸爸也不会让你钓鱼的，”老师答道。“不过，他向你解释原因了呜?”

“解释了，”约翰尼说，“他说鱼饵不够我们两个人的。”

经典英语小笑话2

A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on the train won$100，000. He didn’t want anyone to know about it，so he decided not to return with others，but took a later plane home，arriving back at 3 am.

周末，有一个从芝加哥来的旅行团在拉斯维加斯赌钱。其中一个人赢了10万美元。他不愿意让别人知道，所以他决定不和别人一起回去，他乘了一架晚一些的飞机回家，到家的时候已是凌晨3点。他立刻来到房子的后花园，挖了一个洞，把钱埋了进去。

He immediately went out to the back garden of his house，dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door，which was owned by a deaf mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol，the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man’s house.

第二天早晨，他出去发现洞是空的。他看到有脚印延伸到他的邻居家里，那里住着一个聋哑人。在同一条街道上，还住着一位教授，他懂得手语，是那个聋哑人的朋友。这个人非常生气，他带了一把手枪，把教授叫醒，然后把他拖到聋哑人家里。

"You tell the guy that if he doesn't give me back my$100 000，I’m going to kill him，”He screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend，and his friend replied in sign language，“I hid in my backyard，under the cherry tree.”

“告诉他如果不还我10万美元，我就把他杀了!”他对教授吼道。教授把他的意思告诉了他的朋友‘他的朋友用手语告诉教授:“我把它藏在了后院的樱桃树下了。”

The professor turned to the man with the gun and said，“He’s not going to tell you. He says he he’d rather die first.”

教授转身对持枪的人说道:“他说他宁愿去死也不会告诉你。”

经典英语小笑话3

州立教授给学生判分是有名的好好先生，他每门课的成绩只根据两次考试的结果，而考试内容全在课本里。由于这样的名声在外，每学期都有一大批学生不怎么来上课，或者根本不来上课只有考试的时候才露下面。有一学期，差不多有一半的学生直到考试连一堂课都没来听过。考第一场那天，学生们坐在那儿，一位助教发了卷子并解释说:“教授病了，我来监考。”打开卷子，只有一道题。题目列出了20幅教师的照片，要求是，在教这门课的教授的照片上划圈。

A professor was known for being a generous marker. The grades he gave for one of his courses were based solely on two exams，and the stuff on the exams was covered entirely in the textbook. As word of the course spread，each term there was a large group of students who turned up infrequently，or not at all，just showing up for the exams. Finally, it got so bad that one term，about half of the students never turned up at all until the exams. On the day of first exam，the students sat down and a graduate assistant handed out the papers， explaining，"The professor is ill，so I’II be taking the exams.”When they opened the booklet，the students discovered just one question. It listed twenty grainy staff photos，and the instructions read，"Circle the picture of the professor who teaches this course.”