爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译阅读

笑话是日常生活中常见的一种幽默。与一般日常会话不同,笑话刻意违反合作原则,由此衍生出会话含意,并利用会话含意之间的冲突实现其预定功能。小编精心收集了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!

爆笑英语笑话带翻译：好消息和坏消息

An artist asked the gallery ownerif there had been any interestin his paintings currently on display.

一名艺术家问画廊老板，最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。

"I've got good news and bad news,"owner replied.

“这有好消息和坏消息，”老板回答。

"The good news is thata gentleman inquired about your workand wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.

“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品，他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。

When I told him it would,he bought all fifteen of your paintings.

我告诉他你的画会升值，他就把你的15幅画全都买走了。”

"That's wonderful!"the artist exclaimed,"What's the bad news?"

“真是太好了”，艺术家是喜形于色，“那坏消息是什么?”

With concern, the gallery owner replied,"The guy was your doctor."

带着关心的口吻，画廊老板回答，“买画的人是你的医生”。

爆笑英语笑话带翻译：倒霉的一天

There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink.

一个男人坐在酒吧里，看着自己的酒发呆。

He stayed like that for half an hour.

他这个样子已经有半个小时了。

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him,took the drink from the guy, and drank it all down.

这时，一个好惹事的卡车司机走到他旁边，从他手里一把抢过酒杯，把酒喝了个精光。

The poor man started crying.

可怜的男人大哭起来。

The truck driver said, "Come on man, I was just joking.

卡车司机说，“拜托，哥们，我只是在和你开个玩笑。

Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying"

这样吧，我再给你买一杯，我实在受不了看着一个大男人哭。”

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life.

“不，不是那样的。今天是我这辈子最倒霉的日子。

First, I was late getting to my office.

首先，我上班迟到了，

My boss was outrageous, and fired me.

我的老板是个蛮横的家伙，他把我炒了。

When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen.

当我离开办公楼去取车时，发现我的车被偷了,

The police say they can do nothing.

警察却说他们对此无能为力。

I got a cab to return home,and when I left it,

于是我只好打车回家，下了车，

I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there.

我发现钱包和信用卡都落在了车上，

The cab driver just drove away.

但那个出租车司机已经把车开走了。

When I got home, I found my wife in bed with the gardener.

我回到家，发现我老婆和园丁正在床上鬼混。

I left home and came to this bar.

我离开家，来到这个酒吧。

And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life,you show up and drink my poison"

而现在，正当我考虑要结束我的生命，你出现了，还喝了我的毒酒。”

爆笑英语笑话带翻译：宝贝待售

A New Mum took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time.

一个年轻的妈妈头一回带着她的宝贝女儿到超市买东西，

She dressed her in pink from head to toe.

她把小宝贝从头到脚穿上粉红色的衣服。

At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.

在商场，她把小女孩放在购物车里，把买来的东西都推在孩子周围。

At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them.

在付款台前排队时，一个小男孩和他妈妈正好排在她们前面。

The child was crying and begging for some special treat.

那个小男孩在哭，看上去在向他妈要着什么东西，年轻的妈妈想，

He wants some candy or gumand his mother won't let him have any, she thought.

这个小孩一定是要糖果或是口香糖之类的玩意儿，而他妈妈又不给，所以才闹得这么厉害。

Then she heard his mother's reply.

然而就在这个时候，她听到男孩的妈妈一边回答说，

"No!"she said, looking in her direction.

“不行，”一边往她的方向