比较搞笑的英语笑话阅读

2017-06-07

比较搞笑的英语笑话篇1

好运跟着保险来

"For the last time, I don't want any insurance ! " said the harassed householder to thesalesman

“这是最后一次了，我不要买任何保险!”被骚扰的房主对推销员说道。

"Just a moment, sir. Please consider this :Just last month I sold a policy to a man much likeyourself.

“等一会儿，先生，请您仔细考虑一下：上个月有一位先生长得跟你很像，他刚买了一份保险，

The very next day his house caught fire. The house was completely gutted.

隔天他家就着火，房子内部全都被烧毁，

To save himself, he had to leap from an upstairs window; he landed on his own car, wentthrough the roof, broke both his legs and an arm.

为了保住性命，他从楼上窗户跳下来，恰巧落在他的汽车上，穿过车顶，他摔断了两条腿和一只手臂。”

""Well, he was one of the lucky ones, wasn't he?"

“喔!他就是你所说的幸运人士中的一个，不是吗?

A lawyer finds himself at the Pearly Gates at the same time as the pope.

一位律师发现他和某教宗一起到达天堂的珍珠门。

Both men are allowed to enter heaven.

两个人都被允许进入天堂。

and the lawyer is ensconced in a magnificent mansion.

律师被安置在一间豪华的别墅，

But he sees that the pope is housed in a far more humble dwelling.

但他却见到教宗被安排住在非常简陋的住所。

Unable to restrain his curiosity,the lawyer asks St.Peter about it.

由于好奇心的驱使，律师问圣彼得其中原委。

“Well, you see,” replies St. Peter, "we have dozens of popes up here, but we-ve never had alawyer before. "

“哦，你看我们这里有好几十位教宗，可是你却是第一个上天堂的律师呢!”圣彼得答道。

多谢了，班长

The sergeant had just completed the morning inspection of the troops.

一位班长刚完成部队晨间检查。

"Before I dismiss you, there's just one announcement. Private Kowalski, your mother is dead.Dismissed."

“解散之前，有件事要宣布一下，二等兵卡瓦斯基，你母亲已经过世了。解散!”

The soldier was devastated, of course, and the lieutenant was appalled at the sergeant'sheartlessness.

当然，那位士兵遭受很大的打击，而排长也讶异于班长的冷酷无情。

"For Heaven' s sake, sergeant, next time you have to inform a trooper of a loved one' sdemise,please be a little more subtle," he said.

“看在老天的份分上，班长，下次你要告诉弟兄们有亲人死亡时，请多用点技巧，委婉一些，”排长说道。

A few weeks later, sorry to say, the sergeant had another opportunity.

几个礼拜之后，很不幸那位班长又有一次机会。

Lining up his troops, he ordered, "All of you whose mother is still alive, step forward. Not you,Johnson."

集合了部队，他下口令道：“所有妈妈尚健在的，前进一步。你，约翰逊，除外。”