适合学习英语口语的笑话

笑话作为广大人民群众喜闻乐见的文学样式,自诞生之日起就凭借其辛辣独到的讽刺手法,夸张变形的艺术构思以及背反逻辑的情节设想等语体特点而得到作家青睐。下面是小编带来的适合学习英语口语的笑话，欢迎阅读!

适合学习英语口语的笑话篇一

New business was opening 开业大吉

A new business was opening ... and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.

新公司开业了，开业典礼上，经理的一个朋友送他一个花篮。

They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace."

经理高声朗读着花篮上的贺卡：“安息吧。”

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

经理生气极了，打电话找来卖花的人要质问他是怎么回事。

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ..

花店老板来了，看到这个明显的错误和经理气急败坏的样子，他说：“我真得很抱歉。但是与其这么生气，你倒不如这样想：有另外一个地方，今天要举办一个葬礼，他们将会收到一个花篮，

'Congratulations on your new location!'"

留言条上写着‘恭喜你有了新的归属!’”

适合学习英语口语的笑话篇二

Nobody available 谁都没空

I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in the shed. She could see from the bedroom window.

那天晚上，我刚要上床睡觉，妻子告诉我说我没有关储藏室的灯，她从卧室的窗户看见那还亮着。

As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available.

我也透过窗户朝那边看，发现有几个人正在偷东西。我赶忙报警，但是警察局说现在没有警察在我家的这片位置，他们一有了人手就马上派过来。

I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've shot them all."

我说没问题，然后挂了电话，等了一分钟，又给他们打过去：“警察局吗，一分钟以前我打过电话来，我告诉你说有人正在我家的储藏室偷东西。但是现在没事了，因为我刚刚开枪把他们都打死了。”

Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

随后，五分钟之内有六辆警车来到了我家，警报也响了。当然，他们当场抓住了窃贼。有个警察对我说：“我记得你说你把他们都打死了。”我回答道：“我记得你说现在谁都没空。”

适合学习英语口语的笑话篇三

No Problem 没问题

A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.

一个秃头的男人坐在理发店里。

"How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain.

发型师问：“有什么可以帮你吗?”那个人解释说：“我本来要去做头发移植，但实在太疼了。

If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000."

如果你能够让我的头发看起来像你的一样，而且没有任何痛苦，我将付给你5000美元。”

"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.

“没问题，”发型师说，然后他很快帮自己剃了个光头。

适合学习英语口语的笑话篇四

Obituary 死亡讣告

The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost to have an obituaryprinted"? asked the woman.

地方报社负责刊登死亡讣告的部门电话响了。“登一篇讣告多少钱?”一位女士问。

"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after a moment."Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?""Yes ma'am."

“五美元一个字，太太。”书记员礼貌地回答。“好的，”女士沉默了一小会儿，“拿着笔呢吗?”“是的，夫人。”“纸呢?”“是的，夫人。”

"Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum."

“好的，这样写：‘科恩去世了’”“就这些了?”书记员疑惑地问道。“对，就这些。”“很抱歉，夫人，我刚才没有告诉您，在我们这登讣告最少也得五个字。”

"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am.""Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale.'"

“没错，你就应该告诉我，”女士有点生气了，“现在我得考虑一下，嗯…拿着笔呢吗?”“是的，夫人。”“纸呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，这样写：‘科恩去世了，出售一辆卡迪拉克轿车。’”