五年级英语笑话短文阅读

民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样，是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中，以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。小编整理了五年级英语笑话短文，欢迎阅读!

五年级英语笑话短文：世界上最好的售货员

Harry saw an ad in a window. It said: "Wanted. The Best Sales- man in the World. Top Pay."

" I' m a great salesman." Harry told himself." I can sell anything. I'll go in and ask for that job."

He went into the building and spoke to the manager.” “I’m the best salesman in the world," he said. "Give me the job.”

"You must prove you're the best," the manager said.

"I'll pass every test you give me." Harry told him.

"Good."

The manager took a box of candy out of his desk.

"Last week, I bought a thousand boxes of this candy. If you can sell them all before the end of the week, you can have the job.

"That's easy," Harry said.

He took the box of candy and left the office.

Every day and all day, he went from shop to shop, trying to sell boxes of the candy.

He couldn't sell one. The candy was so bad he couldn't even give it away.At the end of the week he went back to the manager.

"I'm sorry, sir, “he said," I was wrong about myself. I'm not the best salesman in the world, but I know who is.

"Oh," said the manager. "Who?"

"The person who sold you a thousand boxes of this candy,” Harry said.

五年级英语笑话短文：Turn Around

A small guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown."

The small white guy faints! The big dude picks up the small guy, brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him, and asks the small guy. "What's wrong?"

The small white guy says, "Excuse me but what did you say?" The big dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around.'"

五年级英语笑话短文：American Soldier

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat.

The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired. The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!" The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

五年级英语笑话短文：Hunting Skills

Two Russian hunters meet. "I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!"

"How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks.

"Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out, you shoot."

Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages. "Didn't you follow my advice?" Ivan asks.

"Sure I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled, " Sergei replies.

"And what came out?"

"To me, "says Sergei, "it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express."

五年级英语笑话短文：Psychiatrist

Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!