比较爆笑的英语笑话阅读

近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。小编整理了比较爆笑的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

比较爆笑的英语笑话篇一

小心有狗

As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 听到这个回答， 陌生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么?” “因为，” 店主解释说，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他绊倒。”

比较爆笑的英语笑话篇二

蘑菇与毒蕈

Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?

年少的童子军：我怎样才能把蘑菇和毒蕈区别开呢?

Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.

年长的童子军：上床前吃一个。如果你第二天早上醒来，那就是蘑菇。

比较爆笑的英语笑话篇三

Three men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Accountant, the second man was a Chemist, the third was a Government Worker.

To show off, the Accountant called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 3 equal piles of 4 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the two men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

三个男人在吹嘘他们的猫有多么聪明。第一个男人是个会计师，第二个男人是个化学家，第三个则是个公务员。

为了炫耀，会计师叫来他的猫，然后说：“Spreadsheet，干你的活去。”Spreadsheet走进了厨房，拿回来一打曲奇饼干，再分成3堆，每堆四块。每个人都觉得干的很好。

但是化学家说他的猫可以做的更好。他叫来他的猫然后说：“Measure，干你的活去。”Measure起身，走到冰箱那去，拿出来一夸脱牛奶，再从橱柜里拿出一个10盎司的玻璃杯，在里面准确无误地倒入了8盎司牛奶，一滴都没撒。每个人都觉得干的很好。

这三个人对公务员说，“你的猫可以干什么?”公务员叫来他的猫然后说：“Coffee break，干你的活去。”Coffee Break跳到他的脚边，吃掉了曲奇，喝掉了牛奶，这样做的时候号称背受伤了，然后写了一份委屈的报告说工作环境实在不安全，交给工会后，回家度过了剩下的一天。