简单英语幽默笑话精选

2016-12-02

“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面小编为大家带来简单英语幽默笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!

简单英语幽默笑话精选1

A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well." So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year."

有两个猎人包机前往一座森林,到了以后,他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接。两周后,他们射了许多动物,而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小飞机,可是飞行员说:“这架飞机除了一头野牛外,没办法再多载了。你们必须把其他的猎物都留下。” 猎人说:“但是去年另一个飞行员开一样的飞机,就让我们带两只水牛,还有一些其他的动物上机!” 因为他们这样抗议,所以那个新飞行员想了一想后,尽管还是有点存疑,最后还是妥协说:“好吧!如果去年可以做到,今年应该也可以。”所以他装了两头水牛和一些其他的动物。结果飞机起飞五分钟后,就坠落在邻近的地方。这3个人从飞机爬出来看了看四周,其中一个猎人对另一个说:“你认为我们现在在哪儿?” 那个人瞧了一下,说:“我想大概距离去年坠机的地方西边一英哩远!”

简单英语幽默笑话###精选###2

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?

汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。

父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?

汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。

简单英语幽默笑话###精选###3

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.

"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back."

"But ,officer, I …."

"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"

A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."

大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。

“但是警官”这个人说道,“我可以解释的”。

“保持安静”,警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱,直到长官回来。

“但是,警察,我,,,”。 “我说过了保持安静,你要到监狱了。”

几小时后,警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好,因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。”

“你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。

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