幽默英语笑话短文欣赏

兵不厌诈，就是要利用一切可利用的手段去打倒敌人，不要怕被别人笑话。本文是幽默英语笑话短文，希望对大家有帮助!

幽默英语笑话短文：两名士兵

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one's name was George, and the second one's name wasBill.

军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。

George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”

Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

Then George said, "Now I haven't got a pen."

乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”

Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter.

比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。

Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。

Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”

Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。

George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。

"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

“你还要什么?”比尔问。

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What's your girl-friend's address?"

乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

幽默英语笑话短文：Best Reward

Best Reward A naval officer fell overboard.

最好的奖赏 一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。

He was rescued by a deck hand.

他被一名甲板水手救起。

The officer asked how he could reward him.

这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it.

“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。

If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

幽默英语笑话短文：你知道我是干嘛的吗

One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.“Before I came out,”said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money.People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire，the fire burns it.So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don't know my work，” said the other.“What is your work?”“I'm a policeman.“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”

一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。两个人站在外面，看着大火。“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。“你是干什么的?” “我是警察。” “噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”