关于初一简短的英语笑话

2017-05-15

关于初一简短的英语笑话：Maternal Instinct(母性的本能)

As a new father, I quickly learned the true meaning of maternal instinct. Late one night, I was summoned to the hospital to attend to one of my patients. I quietly got up in the dark but tripped over a toy and crashed to the floor. As I lay there rubbing my sore leg, my wife slept on.

Then there was a faint cough from the nursery . Debra leaped out of bed, running past me down the hall to our baby's room. When she returned, she looked at me and said, "What on earth are you doing on the floor?"

关于初一简短的英语笑话：Excellent Skills(绝妙的技巧)

After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

In an instant, a skycap was at his side. "Sir," observed the porter, " you certainly have excellent communication skills.

关于初一简短的英语笑话：An Excellent Scheme(妙计)

After 20 years as a pilot, I became an airport manger and soon found the stress was getting to me. I needed a release and wanted to buy a motorcycle, but my family thought it was too dangerous. My wife said, "Why don't you start flying again?"

The next day, as I showed a businessman around the airport, he looked longingly at the planes." I used to take flying lessons, but my wife made quit," he lamented. "She said it was dangerous.

"Tell her you want to get a motorcycle," I advised. My newfound friend has now earned his pilot's license.

关于初一简短的英语笑话：Easy or Not(方便与否)

Pulling alongside our drive-up bank window, a woman was not happy with her position. So she backed up and pulled closer. Still not satisfied, she backed away and tried again. After fiveattempts, she finally parked the car and rolled down her window. I greeted her with a simple "Good morning".

"Good morning," she replied cheerfully. "I'm going to have to use this drive-up all the time. It's so easy!"

关于初一简短的英语笑话：It's Kind of Fitting(理应如此)

As a freshman at the University of Dayton in Ohio, I was eager to make a good impression on my new roommate. When I arrived at our dorm room, I found her putting on perfume. "That's a great scent," I said, making conversation.

"Thanks-it was from my boyfriend. Here, try some," she said, holding the bottle out for me.

Unfortunately she let go before I had a firm grip, and the glass shattered on the tile floor. , Embarrassed, I tried to apologize, but she cut me off - "Actually, it's kind of fitting," she explained, surveying the damage. "That's exactly how the relationship went.

关于初一简短的英语笑话：I Want Her to go Nuts(我要让她发疯)

Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

"But you're not wearing any of those things."

"I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

关于初一简短的英语笑话：An Ad(广告)

After a beautiful purebred puppy wandered onto our back porch and made himself at home, my husband composed an ad for the "Lost and found" column of the local newspaper. It read: "A puppy, male, approximately nine months old, no collar, very friendly, found on Rockbridge Road. "

I feared all the detail might encourage an unscrupulous person to claim the dog. As I methodically explained why each clue revealed too much, my husband dutifully crossed out the words. Finally, in frustration, he rewrote the ad, reducing it to a single sentence that I couldn't refute.

It read: "Guess what I found?"