小学生英语爆笑笑话大全

幽默与笑话同是社会交往活动中不可缺少的交际手段,探索幽默与笑话的区别,认为有意与无意、含蓄与直白、复杂与简单、创新与故旧是区分幽默与笑话的重要标准。小编整理了小学生英语爆笑笑话，欢迎阅读!

小学生英语爆笑笑话：我能得到什么What do I get

Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?

Tommy: Quarters.

Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?

Tommy: Hamburger.

小学生英语爆笑笑话：为什么鼻青脸肿Black eyes

A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”

The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”

“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”

小学生英语爆笑笑话：New Discovery

A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young

model stepped off the elevator.

Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I shouldhave brought my wife!"

新发现

一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。

乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地说：“我应该把我的老婆带来!”

小学生英语爆笑笑话：The Fox and the Tiger(狐狸和老虎)

An Archer, hunting in the woods, was so successful with his arrows that he killed many of the wild animals. This frightened the rest so much that they ran into the densest part of the bushes to hide. At last the Tiger stood up, and pretending to be very brave, told the other animals not to be afraid anymore, but to rely on his courage, and he would attack the enemy on his own. While he was talking, and lashing his tail and tearing at the ground with his claws to impress the others, an arrow came and pierced his ribs. The Tiger howled with pain.

While he was trying to draw out the arrow with his teeth the Fox went up to him and asked, in surprise, whoever had the strength and courage to wound such a brave and mighty beast as the Tiger?

"Nay," said the Tiger, "I misjudged my enemy. It was that unbeatable man over there!"

MORAL: Knowledge is power.

狐狸和老虎

一个射手正在森林里打猎。他的箭法好极了，射死了许多野兽。这可大大地吓坏了余下的动物，它们都跑到最茂盛的灌木丛中躲藏起来。最后，老虎站了起来，装着非常勇敢的样子叫其余的动物相信它的勇敢，不必再害怕。它将独个儿向敌人进攻。它一边说着，一边甩动着它的尾巴，并用它的爪子刨着地上的泥土，想使别人更信任它。就在这时，一枝箭飞来，刺穿了他的肋骨，老虎顿时痛得吼叫起来。

正当它尽力用牙齿拔出身上的箭时，狐狸走上前来吃惊地问道：“谁能有这样的力气和胆量来伤害象老虎这样勇敢而强有力的野兽呢?”

“不，”老虎说，“我错误地判断了我的敌人，是那边那个不可战胜的人打败了我。”

小学生英语爆笑笑话：懂得一门外语的重要性

A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.

Turning to her kittens, the cat said, "You see how important it is to know a second language."

一只大猫带着四只小猫，突然路遇一只大狗，小猫吓的往后退缩，这时大猫对着狗一阵大吠，把狗吓跑。

大猫扭头对小猫说：“看到没有，知道懂得一门外语的重要性了吧。”