初中英语笑话短文阅读

2017-03-27

笑话是什么?它是能引人发笑的谈话或故事;供人当做笑料的事情。本文是初中英语笑话短文,希望对大家有帮助!

初中英语笑话短文:魔鬼的妹夫

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.

一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥,她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个万圣节夜里,她穿上一套魔鬼戏服,躲在树后,准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。

When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

当丈夫走近时,她从树后跳出来,站到他面前,头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴,手中握着钢叉。

"Who are you?" he asked.

“你是谁?”丈夫问到。

"I'm the Devil!" she responded.

“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。

"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

“噢,那你跟我一起回家吧,”丈夫说,“我娶了你的姐妹!”

初中英语笑话短文:谁的狗最聪明

Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, called to his dog, "T Square, show your stuff. " The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paper and pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.

四个朋友在为谁的狗最聪明而争吵。第一个人是个工程师,他对自己的狗喊道:“T形角,使出你的本领来。”这只狗便跑向一个书桌,拉出一张纸和一支铅笔,画出了一个完美的三角形。

The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead. " The dog went to the kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and pided the contents into four equal piles.

第二个人是个会计。他对他的狗说:“珠算法,上吧。”那狗直奔厨房,用嘴咬开一袋甜饼并把饼分成了四等份。

The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dog went to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup.

第三个人是位药剂师。他命令他的狗----量杯,表现一下。但见那狗径直走向冰箱,叼出一瓶牛奶并精确地把八盎司牛奶倒入一个量杯中

The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it. " With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.

最后一位是政府职员。“休息时间,”他对自己的狗喊叫,“去吧。”话还未落,那狗便跳将起来,踏污了那张纸,吃掉了所有的甜饼,喝光了那杯牛奶。

初中英语笑话短文:快速服务

A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please."

一个人把一双鞋子拿到一家鞋店,并对修鞋匠说,“请帮我修这双鞋子。”

"Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said.“

当然可以,先生,”鞋匠说。

"When will they be ready?" the man asked.“

什么时候能修好?”那个人问。

"I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said.

我有点忙,但到星期四我会修好鞋子的。”他说

That's fine," the man said, and left the shop.

很好,”那人说,并离开了那家店。

The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job.

第二天早上,他收到一封信,提供他一份在国外的工作。24小时内,他登上飞机去接受那份新工作。

Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown.

二十年过去了,他回到了故乡。

He remembered his shoes.

他记起了那双鞋。

"They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see.擾He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now.“

那是一双好鞋,”他想,“我想知道鞋匠是否还在那儿,是否还有那双鞋。我要去看看。他很高兴看到鞋匠还在那家店里,虽然他已很老了。

"Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?"

“早上好,”他对鞋匠说,“二十年前,我拿了一双鞋子来修。你记得还有那双鞋吗?”

"Name?" the old shoemaker asked.

名字?”老鞋匠问。

"Smith," the man said.

史密斯,”那人回答。

"I'll go and see. They may be out back.“

我去瞧瞧,或许在后面呢。

The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes.

鞋匠回到店的后面去,几分钟后又回来了,手里提着那双鞋子

"Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday."

“在这呢,”他说,“一双棕色的鞋子要修。我有点忙,但可以到星期四把鞋子修好。

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