初一英语幽默故事短文欣赏
幽默,作为快乐的源泉之一,存在于生活的方方面面。它不仅给人们带来了笑声,也给人们带来了健康和对生活的满足感。小编精心收集了初一英语幽默故事短文，供大家欣赏学习!
初一英语幽默故事短文篇1
In the army a company of soldiers decided to have some fun with their company cook, a short, fat, very un-martial young man. So every morning before he woke up, one of them would defecate into his boot. The amazing thing was that the cook accepted this treatment silently. Every morning he would clean out his boot and go to work as if nothing was wrong.
军队里的一个连的士兵决定捉弄捉弄他们连的炊事员，一个又矮又胖又弱小的年轻人。就这样，每天早上在他睡醒之前，一个士兵会往他的靴子里大便。令人吃惊的是这个炊事员平静地接受了这种待遇。每天早上他都会弄干净他的靴子然后若无其事地去工作。
After several weeks of this, the soldiers began to tire of the game; it wasn't very much fun because the cook never reacted, and they were beginning to feel guilty as well. So they sent a delegation to apologize to him and promise to mend their ways. The cook heard them out, and then said, "You are going to stop shitting in my boots? Fine, then I will stop pissing in your coffee.”
就这样过了几个星期，士兵们开始厌烦了这种游戏。因为那个炊事员从来没有任何反应，使得这种捉弄根本没那么有意思，也让他们觉得有些内疚。所以，他们派了一个代表去向那个炊事员道歉并保证以后不再那么做了。当那个炊事员听他们说出了真相后说:“你们真的不往我的靴子里大便了?那好吧，那我也不再往你们的咖啡里小便了。”
初一英语幽默故事短文篇2
The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city. When she returned，her little boy greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into your bed and them…”
一个女人离开家两天，到另一个城市去看望一个生病的朋友。当她回来的时候，她的小儿子见到她就说:“妈妈，你猜怎么着?昨天我在你卧室的衣柜里玩，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨走进了卧室，他们脱了衣服上了你的床……”
Sonny’s mother held up her hand. "Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you’ve just told me. " The father came home. As he walked into the house，his wife said，"I' m leaving you. I' m packing now and I' m leaving you.”
妈妈抓住他的手说:“不要讲了，等到你爸爸回家了，你就把和我讲的全部讲给他听。”孩子的爸爸回来了。当他走近房间的时候他的妻子说:“我要离开你。我现在就收拾好行李，我要走了。”
"But why--"asked the startled father.
“但是，这是为什么?”他吃惊地问。
"Go ahead，Sonny. Tell Daddy just what you told me.”
“讲给他听，儿子，把你告诉我的讲给他听听。”
"Well,”Sonny said，"I was playing in your bedroom closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into bed and then they did just what you did with Uncle John when Daddy was away last summer.”
“好吧，”那个小家伙说，“我正在你卧室的衣柜里玩的时候，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨上楼来，然后他们脱了衣服上了床。然后，他们就像是去年夏天爸爸不在家时你和约翰叔叔一样。”
初一英语幽默故事短文篇3
One night, a man comes home slightly drunk and his wife ( who is suspecting he’s cheating on her) questions his whereabouts…
一天深夜，一个男人稍有醉意回到家中。他的妻子问他去哪了(她有些怀疑他的话)。
Wife: "Where were you?"
妻子:“你去哪了?”
Man: "I was at this new bar called the Golden Bar. Everything is golden.”
丈夫:“我去了一个叫金色酒吧的新开张的酒吧。里面的一切都是金的。”
Wife: "Sure you were. There' s no such place”
妻子:“你真去了吗? 根本没有这种地方!”
Man: "There is! They have huge golden doors, a golden floors, and even golden urinals !”
丈夫:“有!那里有一扇大金门，金地板和金的便池!”
Wife: "Oh, I BELEIVE you 100%.”
妻子:‘好，就算我恻言你!”
So, the next day the wife looks through the phone book for this golden bar. She’s surprised when she finds a Golden Bar located across town. She decides to call up and check this out for herself…
第二天，他的妻子在电话号码簿里查金色酒吧的电话。使她吃惊的是金色酒吧就在他们住的小镇的另一头。她决定打电话过去证实一下她丈夫的话。
Wife: "Is this the Golden Bar?"
妻子:“这里是金色酒吧吗?”
Bartender: "Yes it is.”
酒吧服务员:“是的，金色酒吧。”
Wife: "Do you have huge golden doors? "
妻子:“你们那里是不是有一扇金色大门?”
Bartender: "Yes we do…”
酒吧服务员:“是的，我们有......”
Wife: "Do you have golden floors?"
妻子:“你们的地板也是金色的?”
Bartender; "We have them, too…”
酒吧服务员:“是的，这也对……”
Wife: "What about golden urinals?"
妻子:“那有没有金色便池?”
Bartender( speaking away from phone):"Hey Max，I think we have a lead on the guy that fouled your alto-sax.”
酒吧服务员在电话那头问:“嘿，马克斯，我认为那天有人往你的高音萨克斯里小便的事有线索了。”