英语经典幽默笑话带翻译

2017-03-22

英语经典幽默笑话1：

A man dirning with a friend explained the peculiarities of the restaurant they were in:"The waiters never admit they don't have something. They'll take your order. for a slice of sun and too away as if they mean to get it...then they'll come back and say they just ran out.”

一位和朋友吃饭的男士解释他们在饭馆里吃饭的怪现象时说:“服务员从未承认过他们没有什么莱。假如你想要一份太阳，他们也会拿着菜单离去，好像真能给你弄来似的。然后，他们回来说这道菜刚卖完。”为了证明这一点，我说:“请来一份恐龙。”

To prove his point，he said to the waiter,“The dinosaur，please.”

“好的，先生，”服务员回答说:“您要的恐龙是做得嫩点还是老点儿的?”

“Yes，sir，“answered the waiter.”And how would you like it cooked?"

“老点儿的。”

"Well done!"

服务员离开了，又很快回来了。“对不起，先生，我们的恐龙菜刚卖完。”

The waiter left and returned quickly.“I'm sorry, sir，but we've just run out of a dinosaur.”

“什么?”顾客气愤地说:“没有恐龙?”

" What?" said the diner with feigned disappointment."No dinosaur?"

那服务员低声地说:“我们的确还剩一些。”他显得作常自信的样子。“但恐龙肉有点儿不太鲜了，所以我们还是不给您上这道菜的好。”

The waiter lowered his voice. "Well，we do have some left，“he whispered confidentially,"...but it's not very fresh and I won't serve it!”

英语经典幽默笑话2：

Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when

the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.

我妹妹婚后不久，我父亲的同事夫妇俩顺便来看我父母。这两个客人没被邀请出席婚礼。所以那位女士说:“真遗憾，那天我没有去教堂。”我妈妈以为她的意思是没有来参加喝彩俱乐部所招待的茶和甩卖活动。

"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"

我妈妈回答说:“你没有来太好了，免得你看那片乱哄哄的景色.”

"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?"

客人说:“我原打算看看大家穿得如何，你那天穿的是什么?’，

"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "

妈妈说:“就是那套老式的海军呢和我的牛津服呗。值得一提的是，我们挣了一千多块钱。”

"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.

“你们收了赠款了吗?”那位女士惊奇池问。

"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”

“噢，没有，”妈妈说:“你知道怎么着，许多人只是来看热闹，你从他们身上是分文也得不到的，所以我们决定收门票。”

At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.

说到这儿，爸爸觉得意思搞误会了。他建议妈妈解释一下，我妹妹的婚礼既不是哄乱，也没收取任何钱财。

英语经典幽默笑话3：

It was the first day of school and a new student,the son of a Japanese businessman,entered the fourth grade.The teacher greeted the class and said，“Let’begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me liberty，or give me death'?"

开学的头一天，四年级来了一个新生。这是一个日本商人的儿子。老师跟全班打了招呼，并说:“我们先来复习一些美国的历文。谁曾经说过‘要么就让我死，要么就给我自由’?”

She saw only a sea of blank faces except for that of Toshiba，who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry，1775,"said the boy.“Now，”said the teacher,“Who said 'Government of the people，by the people，for the people shall not perish from the earth'?”

老师看到的好像是一片空白的脸，只有那位“东芝”举了手回答说:“亨利·柏垂克，1775年。”

Again, no response except from Toshiba:”Abraharn Lincoln，1863. "

老师又说:“好，谁说过‘民有、民治、民享的政府不会从地球土消失’?”

The teacher snapped at the class，"You should be ashamed. Toshiba，who is new to our country，knows more about it than you do."

然而除了东芝以外全班仍没有任何反应。

As she turned to write something on the blackboard，she heard a loud whisper:"Damned Japanese.”

“林肯， 1863年。”

"Who said that?"she demanded.

老师冲着全班打了一个响指说:“你们应感到害躁，这个新来我们国家的东芝比你们知道的都多。”

Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Jacocca，1982. "he said.

当老师在黑板上写字时，听到一声咒骂:“该死的日本人!”

老师问:“谁说的?”