长篇英文笑话带翻译精选

不管文体与笑话如何相似，若他不能让人发笑，那它就不能算是笑话。如果能引人发笑的，都可以将其看作笑话。小编精心收集了长篇英文笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!

长篇英文笑话带翻译：谁最了不起

A judge, a bishop, and a conductor were having a discussion. All three were rather vain men, and their talk soon turned to the question of which of them was the greatest.

"Well," said the judge, "My position is one of dignity and power. When I walk into the courtroom, the bailiff says ‘All rise!’ and all the people stand to pay me honor."

"That's very nice," said the bishop. "People stand in your honor; but when people have an audience with me they kneel, kiss my ring, and they address me as 'Your Holiness.'"

The conductor snorted and said, "I think I got you both beat; when I step onto the podium, as guest conductor, the people look down, put their hands over their eyes, and say 'Oh, my God!'"

一个法官、一个教堂主教和一位指挥家正在进行一场辩论。三个人都是虚荣自负的人，他们的话题很快转到他们之中谁是最伟大的人上。

“嗯，”法官说，“我的职业既高贵又拥有权力，当我走进法庭的时候，狱警会说‘全体起立!’接着所有人都会站起来向我致意。”

“好极了，”主教说，“人们站起来向你致敬。当我出现在教堂里，人们会跪在我的面前，亲吻我的戒指，并称呼我为‘陛下’。”

指挥家哼了一声，说道：“我觉得你们都不如我。当我作为客座指挥走上指挥台的时候，人们都垂着头，用手捂着眼睛，说道，‘噢，我的上帝!’”

长篇英文笑话带翻译：世界上最聪明的狗

There once was a dog show to determine the world's smartest dog. Three dogs were in the final. One dog belonged to a doctor. One dog belonged to an engineer. And, one dog belonged to a lawyer.

For the final each dog was given a bag of bones to see what it could make. The doctor said, "Stethoscope, go!" The dog built a human skeleton.

The judges were ready to award the trophy right then. But, they decided to give the other dogs a try.

The engineer said, "Slide-rule, go!" The dog built a suspension bridge.

The judges were beside themselves. Which dog would they pick?

The lawyer said. "Loop-hole, go!" The dog ate the bones, got a percentage of all thetolls from the bridge and screwed the other two dogs.

在一场狗秀的活动中，人们要选出一只世界上最聪明的狗。有三只狗进入了决赛，它们的主人分别是：医生，建筑师和律师。

最后的比赛是给每只狗一包骨头，看看它们能用这些骨头做些什么。医生说道：“听诊器，上!”这只狗搭了一个人体骨骼。

裁判们想立即给这只狗颁发奖品，但是他们还是决定给每只狗一次机会。

建筑师说道：“滑尺，上!”他的狗建造了一座悬桥。

裁判们左右为难，到底该选哪一只呢?

律师说道：“钻(法律)空子，上!”这只狗吃掉了骨头，对那座桥征收了百分之百的税，并向其他两只狗进行勒索。

长篇英文笑话带翻译： 妈妈，您可以下来了

The cruise ship my friend was working on socked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below.

The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70's appeared at the top of theplank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, mother, you can come down now."

我的一个朋友在游船上工作。由于潮水当时涨得很高，船停靠在墨西哥的一个港口，游客们不得不踩着一条很窄的跳板才能上岸。

当一位七十多岁的老妇人站在跳板的顶端时，船上所有的工作人员都吓呆了。跳板太窄，根本没有搀扶老人的空间。因此，老妇人只好慢慢地侧着身子往下走，最终当她安全抵达码头后，大家悬着的心才放了下来。下来后，老妇人转过身，冲着跳板的另一端喊道：“没事的，妈妈，您现在可以下来了。”