1分钟英语笑话故事阅读

2017-04-09

笑话可以纯粹是笑话,不带任何攻击的色彩。你可以内心企图想要攻击别人却面带微笑,这种微笑就变成是罪恶。小编整理了1分钟英语笑话故事,欢迎阅读!

1分钟英语笑话故事:The poor husband 可怜的丈夫

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong. 可怜的丈夫 “你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可怜的丈夫

“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”

1分钟英语笑话故事:Need a push?

A man is in bed asleep with his wife when there is a rat- a-tat-tat on the door.

He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over.

Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door and there is man standing there. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??"

"No, get lost(走开!), it's half past three. I was in bed." says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember

that night we broke down on the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost??"

"But the guy was drunk." says the husband.

"It doesn't matter." says the wife. "He needs our help, the right thing to do would be to help him."

So the husband out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push??" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts: "Where are you?"

And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing(秋千)."

1分钟英语笑话故事:Incredible pig

One morning a city slicker was driving through the country and saw something he could not believe ; A pig with a wooden leg ! he pulled over and walked up to the pig pen to get a closer look . The pig looked up and said :'What are you staring at ?"

The man , dumbfounded, nearly knocked over the farmer who had come up behind him . "that is amazing!"he said ,"that pig can talk!"

"I reckon "said the farmer . "But where had he get the wooden leg ?"ask the city slicker .

"well, " drawled the farmer ,"with a pig like that, you do not eat him all at once ..."

1分钟英语笑话故事:Not fair

A:Mr.Brown died yesterday,are you going to attend his funeral?

B:No,of course not!

A:Why not?I thought you were friends.

B:It wouldn't be fair if I did.

A:Not fair?What do you mean?

B:If I attended his funeral,would he be able to attend mine?

不公平

A:布朗先生昨天去世了,你会去参加他的葬礼吗?

B:当然不会去.

A:为什么呢?我还以为你们俩是朋友呢.

B:我要是去参加他的葬礼,就太不公平了.

A:不公平?你这话是什么意思?

B:如果我参加了他的葬礼,他能够参加我的吗?

1分钟英语笑话故事:Chauffeur told me

A rich Beverly Hills lady got very angry at her French maid. After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.

The maid, with her Gallic ancestry, couldn't allow such abuse to go unanswered.

"Your husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me so himself."

The rich bitch just scowled and said nothing.

"And furthermore," the angry girl continued, "I am better in bed than you!"

"And I suppose my husband told you that, too?"

"No, Madam," said he maid. "The chauffeur told me!"

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