初一英语笑话
英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式。下面是小编整理的初一英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
初一英语笑话： Count to one Hundred Before You Speak
In class,the teacher,with his back leaning against the stove,said to the students,"Before you speak,you should think and count to at least 50,and for important matters to 100."
No sooner had the teacher stopped talking than the students began to count.
at last all the students shouted together,"1...98,99,100.teacher,your clothes are on fire."
数到一百再说
课堂上，老师背靠火炉站着，对学生们说：“说话前要三思，起码数到50，重要的事情要数到一百。”
老师的话音刚落，学生立刻从“1”开始数起来。最后一起喊：“98，99，100!老师，您的衣服着火了。”
初一英语笑话：The Advantage of Alcohol
In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?"
The student answered,"It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol."
酒的好处
为了证明酒精对生物的危害，老师把一只虫子放入装有酒精的杯子里，虫子很快就死了。老师问一个学生：“这说明了什么?”
学生答道：“说明人多喝酒，就不会长虫子。”
初一英语笑话：Exchange the Tortoise for the Wolf
Teacher:Some students are becoming arrogant.Do you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?
Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.
Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won't fall asleep?
Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.
把乌龟换成狼
老师：有些同学开始骄傲了，大家还记得龟兔赛跑的故事吗。小明，你说说看，兔子为什么输给乌龟?
小明：因为它睡觉了。
老师：对极了!我们应该怎么做才能让兔子不睡觉呢?
小明：把乌龟换成狼!
初一英语笑话：
Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired."
中文：
我的同事有好几小时不见人了。我们疯了地到处找他。最后老板发现，他正在睡大觉。没叫醒他，老板悄无声息地在我的同事的胸前放了个纸条。“睡觉时”，条上写着，“你是我的员工，醒来你就不是了
初一英语笑话：
1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
初一英语笑话：
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
初一英语笑话：
Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches. When Tommy came back, mother asked him,” Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes, Mum.” Tommy replied,” I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗?”
“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”
初一英语笑话：
Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
开车
父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
初一英语笑话：
Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的
初一英语笑话：Little Brother Got off
Tommy:Mom, what was the name of the last station our train stopped at?
Mother:Don’t bother me. I don’t know. Don’t you see I’m reading?
Tommy:Well, it’s too bad if you don’t know. Little brother got off there.
弟弟下车了
汤姆:“妈妈,我们这火车停过的上一站叫什么名字?”
母亲:“别打扰我,我不知道。没看见我在看书吗?”
汤姆:“哇,你不知道就太糟了,弟弟在那站下了车。
初一英语笑话：I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
初一英语笑话：A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
初一英语笑话：
He is really somebody他真是一个大人物
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- He is really somebody. What does he do? 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 墓地守墓人。