让人笑掉大牙的英语笑话
笑话是一种流传广泛为人民群众所喜爱的文学样式。一篇好的笑话,总是以短小的篇幅、精炼的语言、讽刺的手法,表达一个引人发笑的故事,在笑中寓有深义,发人深思,促人战斗,使人猛醒。下面是小编带来的让人笑掉大牙的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
让人笑掉大牙的英语笑话篇一
Getting into His Work 专注于工作
The priest was so concerned with the welfare of his pretty young parishioner that he invited her to his private quarters to discuss her confession.
一位神父非常关切教区内一位年轻美丽的教友幸福，因此便邀她到他私人住处讨论她的忏悔。
“Now, let me get this straight,” said the priest. “This young man you went out with--did he put his arm around your shoulder like this?”
“现在让我把事情搞清楚，”神父说道“，这个年轻人跟你出去他是不是像这样把他的手臂绕在你的肩膀?”
“Yes, Father, and worse.”
“是的，神父，还有更糟的事情呢。”
“And did he put his hand on your thigh like this?”
“他也像这样把手放在你的大腿上吗?”
“Yes, Father, and worse.”
“是的，神父，还有更坏的呢。”
By now the clergyman was thoroughly aroused. He hiked the girl’s skirt and gave her a vigorous humping. “And did he do this?” he inquired.
此时神父已被刺激得兴奋莫名，他撩起女孩的裙子，元气充沛地和她做起爱来“，他也这样做吗?”神父问道。
“Yes, Father, and worse.”
“是的，神父，还有更糟的呢!”
“But what could be worse than what I just did?”
“有什么还比我刚刚所做的更糟呢?”
“I’m afraid, Father, that he gave me the clap.”
“恐怕，神父，他把淋病传染给我了。”
让人笑掉大牙的英语笑话篇二
Can’t You Be a Little More Supportive? 你能不能多支持我一点?
The delighted young politician called his mother and reported enthusiastically, “Hey, Mom, I just won the election!”
一位年轻的政客打电话给他母亲，高兴地说道“：嘿，妈，我刚赢得这次的选举呢!”
“Honestly, dear?” exclaimed his mother.
“你没在骗我吧，亲爱的?”他的妈妈惊叫。
“Aw, Jeez, Mom, do you have to bring up something like that at a time like this?”
“喔，妈!在这种时刻你还要提出像这样的问题吗?(你这时还不相信我吗/你 还以为我是政客的虚假作风吗?)不相信我吗?”
让人笑掉大牙的英语笑话篇三
the perfect solution 完美解决之道
president shrub was flying over the u.s. with his staff. suddenly he got a brilliant inspiration: “you know, i think i’ll just throw a fifty-dollar bill out the window and make somebody happy.”
史拉伯总统和他的幕僚正搭机横越美国上空。忽然间他心中突发奇想“，我想由窗口扔一张五十元美钞下去，让某个人高兴一下。”
“mr. president, why don’t you throw out five ten-dollar bills and make five people happy? ” suggested his celebrated secretary of state.
“总统先生，您为什么不丢五张十元的钞票让五个人高兴呢?”著名的国务卿建议道。
vice-president partridge caught on, “golly, mr. president, why don’t you throw fifty singles and make fifty people happy ?”
副总统派翠基接着说“：啊，总统先生，您为什么不丢五十张一元钞票，好让五十个人高兴呢?”
the pilot turned around and said, “why don’t you just throw yourself out the window and make everybody happy?”
这时飞机驾驶员转身说道：“为什么你不把自己丢出窗外，好让每个人都高兴呢?”
让人笑掉大牙的英语笑话篇四
Change of Plan 临时改变主意
Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enter the army.
法兰克和佛烈德两人同一天收到召集令，两人都不想去服兵役。
But Frank had heard the army would not accept anyone without teeth, so they both had all their teeth pulled.
但法兰克曾经听人说军中不收没有牙齿的人，因此他们两人都把所有的牙齿给拔掉了。
On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truck driver cut in between them.
在体格检查那天，他们两人排在同一排队伍，可是有一个大块头、满身毛发而且臭味难当的卡车司机插在他们中间。
As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he had no teeth. The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said, “Sure enough, you don’t. You’re rejected.”
当法兰克排到队伍的前头时，他对检查的班长说他没有牙齿，那名士官要他张开嘴巴，接着用食指在他红肿的牙龈绕了一圈后说道“：没错，你没牙齿，不用当兵!”
Turning to the truck driver, he asked, “What’s your problem?”
接着轮到卡车司机，士官说“：你有什么问题吗?”
The trucker said, “I’ve got a tremendous case of the piles.”
卡车司机说道“：我患有严重的痔疮。”
The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his forefinger and rotated it around thoroughly. “Sure enough, you’ve got a bad case. Rejected!”
班长要那个家伙弯下身去，用他的食指在肛门转了一整圈后说道“：没错，你的情形很严重，不合格!”
Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, “And what’s your problem?”
再来轮到佛烈德，班长又问“：那你的问题是什么?”
Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, “Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all.
凝视着他的食指，佛烈德答道“：没什么问题，班长，我一点问题也没有。”