简单英语幽默笑话五则

2017-03-20

“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面小编为大家带来简单英语幽默笑话五则,欢迎大家阅读!

简单英语幽默笑话1:

How do I get the gum out? Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?

怎么把口香糖取出来呢当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候,她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后,一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前,说道:“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢?”

简单英语幽默笑话2:

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着,”小偷说,“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下,然后我们就当什么也没发生,你看怎样?”经理表示同意,然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道:“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点,你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。”

简单英语幽默笑话3:

he warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell. So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?" George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情,因为每逢周末的探访日,大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访,但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。因此在一个探访日,典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说:“乔治,我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上:“告诉我,你没有任何朋友或家人吗?”乔治回答:“喔!当然有,典狱长,只不过他们全都在这里面!”

简单英语幽默笑话4:

Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友:“这是一个粗暴的世界,所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”朋友:“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大,健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?”丹:“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”

简单英语幽默笑话5:

One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.

After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"

"Certainly"

"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"

"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."

"Then why you didn't take it back?"

"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"

有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。

儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”

“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”

“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”

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