简单易懂好笑的英语笑话

2017-03-02

《万荣72争笑话》是一部方言性质极强,幽默意味十足的笑话集,下面小编整理了简单易懂的英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!

简单易懂的英语笑话摘抄

实质性的纠正

Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast thismorning.

Walter: What was it?

Teacher: Eggs.

Walter: Wrong. That was yesterday.

老 师:沃尔特,你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。

沃尔特:我吃了什么?

老 师:鸡蛋。

沃尔特:错了,老师。那是昨天吃的。

简单易懂的英语笑话鉴赏

当场擒获小偷

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen,"said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy thewatch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This isa little more than I intended to spend.Can you show me something less expensive?"

一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着,”小偷说,“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下,然后我们就当什么也没发生,你看怎样?”

经理表示同意,然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道:“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点。你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。"

简单易懂的英语笑话赏析

一块还是两块?

Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.

Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.

顾客:服务员,我盘子里怎么只有一块肉?

服务员:先生,请稍候,我去把它切成两块。

简单易懂的英语笑话欣赏

打猎秘籍

Two Russian hunters meet. "I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!"

"How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks.

"Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out,you shoot."

Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages. "Didn't you follow myadvice?" Ivan asks.

"Sure I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled, " Sergei replies.

"And what came out?"

"To me, "says Sergei, "it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express."

两个俄国猎人相遇。“我昨天打了一只巨熊,”伊凡说,“看看这兽皮!”

“你是如何发现这么大的熊的?”谢尔盖问道。

“很简单,”伊凡说,“你站在一个洞前并吹哨子。熊出来时你就开枪。”

几周后,两人见面了。谢尔盖浑身缠满了绷带。“难道你没有听我的建议?”伊凡问。

“我当然是按你的建议做的。我站在一个洞前并吹哨子,”谢尔盖回答说。

“出来了什么?”

“向着我来的,”谢尔盖说,“像是穿越西伯利亚的快车。”

简单易懂的英语笑话品味

一封特别的感谢信

nce I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were fivelottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much foryour help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "

有一次,我收到一封感谢信,是一个我曾帮助过的朋友寄来的。信封内有五张彩票,都被刮过了,露出了数字。“非常感谢您的帮助,”信上写道,“作为礼物,我给您买了些彩票——真遗憾,您没中奖。”

简单易懂的英语笑话阅读

委婉的报丧方式

Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James wasparticularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbertmeticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. Jamestelephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?"

"Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you'reinsensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar —you should have broken the news to meslowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but Ihave called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could havesaid the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they wouldsucceed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have donetheir best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Thenwhen I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had beendone for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar.And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?"

"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."

郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活,家中有一老母并养了一只猫叫埃德格。詹姆斯特别喜欢这只猫。有一次他要外出几天,临行前不厌其烦地嘱咐郝伯特照顾好这只宠物。出门后的头一天晚上,他打来电话询问:“埃德格好吗?”

“它死了,”郝伯格回答。一阵沉默之后,詹姆斯说:“郝伯特,你真没心没肺,你知道我多么喜欢埃德格——你应该把这个消息慢慢地告诉我。当我问起埃德格今晚怎样时,你应该说,‘埃德格爬上了屋顶,我已给消防队打了电话,让他们把它救下来。’我明天又给你打电话时,你应该说消防队营救埃德格遇到了困难,但你相信他们会成功。在我第三天给你打电话时,你可以说消防队员已尽了最大努力,但很不幸,埃德格从屋顶上掉了下来,被送到兽医那里。在我最后一次给你打电话询问,你可以说尽管对埃德格做了一切所能做的努力,它还是死了。这是一个富有感情的人告诉我埃德格的消息时所用的方式。哦,趁我没忘记还有件事顺便问一下,”詹姆斯补充道,“母亲好吗?”

“哦……”一阵沉默后郝伯特答道,“她上了屋顶。”

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