英语笑话故事短文大全

冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。它是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，主要流传于网页，微博，贴吧等。它与传统的笑话不同，有其独特的产生和理解方式。小编分享英语笑话故事短文，希望可以帮助大家!

英语笑话故事短文：The Carpenter Son

One day Jesus was out for a walk, strolling near the walls surrounding heaven, when he heard an old man's voice call from the other side.

"Hello? Hello?"

Jesus replied, "Who is it?"

"Just a poor, old carpenter searching for his son," the old man replied.

Jesus' heart leapt with joy and he called out, "Joseph?"

The voice answered back, "Pinocchio?"

英语笑话故事短文：The Lord Will Save Me

It rained for days and days and there was a terrific flood. The water rose so high that one man was forced to climb on top of his roof and sat in the rain. As the waters came up higher a man in a rowboat came up to the house and told him to get in. "No thank you, the Lord will save me!" he said, and the man in the rowboat rowed away.

The waters rose to the edge of the roof and still the man sat on the roof until another rowboat came by and another man told him to get in. "No thank you, the Lord will save me!" he said again, and the man rowed away.

The waters covered the house and the man was forced to sit on his chimney as the rain poured down and a helicopter came by and another man urged him to get in or he'll drown. "No thank you," the man said again, "The Lord will save me!"

After much begging and pleading the man in the helicopter gave up and flew away. The waters rose above the chimney and the man drowned and went to heaven where he met God.

"Lord, I don't understand," he told Him, frustrated, "The waters rose higher and higher and I waited hours for you to save me but you didn't! Why?"

The Lord just shook his head and said, "What are you talking about? I sent two boats and a helicopter?!"

英语笑话故事短文：Church Sign Chuckles

Some favorite messages spotted on church signs or billboards, submitted by Beliefnet members:

-Fire Insurance Inside

-This Church Is Prayer Conditioned

-God Answers Knee Mail

-PRAY NOW! Avoid Christmas Rush!

-Sign broken, come inside for message

-This is a ch--ch. What's missing? U R!

-Regis isn't the only on to offer a lifeline

-Stop in the name of love and meet the Supreme

-Wal-Mart's not the only savings place

-The best position is on your knees!

英语笑话故事短文：The Guardian Angel Mistake

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees her guardian angel and asks if this is her time. The angel says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital for a few more days and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in heaven again, sees her guardian angel and says, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years!!"

The angel replies, "Sorry. I didn't recognize you."

英语笑话故事短文：Holy Water

One morning a man came into the church on crutches.

He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both

legs, and then threw away his crutches.

An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory

to tell the priest what he'd just seen.

"Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said.

"Tell me where is this man now?"

"Flat on his ass over by the holy water," said the boy.