关于1分钟英文笑话阅读

2017-04-09

做事情要灵活,不能死搬教条,不然就会闹出“郑人买履”那样的笑话。本文是关于1分钟英文笑话,希望对大家有帮助!

关于1分钟英文笑话:American Soldier

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat.

The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired. The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!" The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

关于1分钟英文笑话:Difference

"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."

区 别

“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来,”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’,本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”

关于1分钟英文笑话:Virtue

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

美 德

获取研究生学位多年以后,我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。一天,电梯里很拥挤,有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起,20年来电梯一直没有换过。

最后当电梯门打开时,我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下,回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的,亲爱的,”她低声说道:“坚持不懈是一种美德。”

关于1分钟英文笑话:Charge for Bread and Butter

Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.

Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services."

Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter."

The $1.50 was returned without delay.

面包和黄油费

几年前,我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。帐单上来时,上面有1.5美元的面包和黄油费。爸爸付了帐,连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。但是第二天,他给餐馆寄了一封信,说那项收费是没有道理的。随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。

餐馆马上打来电话,问道:“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事?我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务。”

爸爸答道,“我也从来没有要什么面包和黄油。”

那1.5美元立即就寄了回来。

关于1分钟英文笑话:Too Long

The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long."

太久

一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开电话,说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠。“我还想确定,”她怯怯地坦白道:“您是否还健在。每次发现作者已经不在人世了,我才知道我将文章压得太久了。”

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