有关经典英文搞笑笑话精选

笑话是幽默的一个属概念 ,具有幽默的一切特征。笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。小编精心收集了有关经典英文搞笑笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

有关经典英文搞笑笑话：Old Italian Mafia

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed.

"Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't lika guns. Howzabout you leava me your Rolex watch instead?"

"Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business.....you gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple a bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then....... pointa to you watch and say "Times up"?"

有关经典英文搞笑笑话：Little Wanky

At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, "Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this."

"The truth is," replied the politician, "that she has a big mouth."

有关经典英文搞笑笑话： Fortieth Birthday

A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"

She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce."

"My goodness," he says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

有关经典英文搞笑笑话：Sudents' Wishes

Three students, a student from Tennessee, a student from Alabama, and a student from Auburn are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Tennessee student says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Tennessee."

With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM," the land in Tennessee was forever made fertile for farming.

The Auburn student was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around the University of Auburn, so that nobody from out of state can come into our precious school."

Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye,"POOF," there was a huge wall around Auburn.

The Alabama student says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it is about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the University of Auburn. Nothing can get in or out."

The Alabama student says, "Fill it with water."

有关经典英文搞笑笑话： An Ounce Of Brains

A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor. It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains. There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the sum of $800 an ounce. The outraged lawyer says, "This is a ripoff! How come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?" The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"