幽默英语笑话短文阅读

笑是一种人类生存的能力，恰如医师检查身体各部位一样，笑已成为衡量身体健康的一种正确有效的指示器。因此笑话从人类诞生以来就一直存在，从未消亡。小编整理了幽默英语笑话短文，欢迎阅读!

幽默英语笑话短文：让我的司机来回答

A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, boss, I've heard your speech many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.

一个著名科学家起程去再作一个讲座。他的司机出了个主意：“老板，您的讲座我已听了这么多次了。我打赌我能作这个讲座，让您休息一个晚上。”

"sounds great," the scientist said.“

那太好了。”科学家说

When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.

到了礼堂，科学家戴上了司机的帽子，坐在了后排。而司机走上了讲台，作讲演。讲演结束后，他问听众是否有什么问题。

"Yes," said one processor.Then he launched into a highly technical question.

一个教授说有，并提出了一个高深的学术问题。

The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. " That's an easy one, " he replied, "so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it. "

司机一时被问懵了，但很快就镇定下来。“这很容易，”他说，“太容易了，我要让我的司机来回答。”

幽默英语笑话短文：富有挑战性的搜寻

A woman answered her front door and found two boys holding a list. "Lady," one of them explained, "we are on a treasure hunt, and we need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar. "

一个妇人打开前门，看到两个男孩手里拿着一张字条。“夫人，”其中一个解释道，“我们在寻宝。我们需要三颗麦粒、一块猪排骨、一张用过的复写纸来挣一美元。”

"Wow," the woman replied, "who sent you on such a challenging hunt?"

“哦，”那位妇女回答道：“谁让你们作这样富有挑战性的搜寻的?”

"Our baby-sitter's boyfriend. "

“是我们保姆的男朋友。”

幽默英语笑话短文：标题是什么

When a man in Macon, Ga. , came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal. "

一位男子在乔治亚州的麦根城遇到一条狗在袭击一个男孩。他敏捷地用两手卡住了狗的脖子并掐死了它。一位记者目睹了这件事，向这位男子表示祝贺并说次日的新闻标题将是：“本地男子杀恶畜救孩童”。

The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.

然而，这位英雄却告诉记者他不是麦根人。

"Well, then," the reporter said, the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog. '"

“那么，”记者说，“标题可能为‘乔治亚男子杀狗救孩童’。

"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

实际上，”那男子道，“我是康涅狄格人。”

"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read ,'Yankee Kills Family Pet.'"

“这样的话，”记者怒气冲冲地说，“标题将是‘北方佬杀死家庭爱犬’。

幽默英语笑话短文：窗帘挂于何处

drill sergeant ordered two young female recruits to paint a room in the barracks, stressing that they not get any paint on their uniforms. Doubtful they could avoid ruining their clothes, the women locked the door, stripped naked and painted in nude. After about an hour they heard a knock at the door . "Who is it?" asked one of the women.

一位军事训练中士命令两个年轻的女兵去油漆营房里的一间屋子，并一再强调不得把漆弄到她们的制服上。她们很怀疑能不把衣服弄脏，所以就把门插上，脱了衣服，裸体在里面油漆。大约一个小时过后，她们听到有人敲门。“谁呀?”其中一女子问。

"Blind man, "came the reply.

“送窗帘的(与‘盲人’同音同词----编者)，”来者答道。

Seeing no harm in letting a blind man in, they opened the door.

她们觉得让一个盲人进来无妨，就开了门。

"Wow, what knockouts!" the man said with surprise. "Now, where do you want these blinds?"

“哇，多动人的人儿呀!”那男子惊奇地说，“现在你们想把窗帘挂在哪儿?”