超级搞笑英语笑话欣赏

前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。本文是超级搞笑英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!

超级搞笑英语笑话：Better Prison Foods

Subject: You Deserve a Break Today

San Francisco (UPI)--In what legal observers are already calling a landmark decision in the case of Jackson v. California, the California Supreme Court has recognized for the first time a constitutional right to chicken done right.

The high court held that under the the due process clause and the constitutional prohibitionof cruel and unusual punishment, Joseph Jackson, a prisoner at the California Men's Correctional Institue at Camarillo, is entitled to food "of fair average quality," or "comparable to the fare at a modest restaurant or fast-food chain."

Mr. Jackson had complained of the poor quality of the prison kitchen's Coq au Vin ....

超级搞笑英语笑话：One Guy

There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.

"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."

超级搞笑英语笑话：Ups! I Miss Him

A middle-aged man and woman met, fell in love and got married.

On their wedding night they settled into the bridal suite and the wife said to her new husband, "Please promise to be gentle. I'm still a virgin."

"But how can that be?" the startled husband said. "You've been married three times before."

"Well," she explained, "my first husband was a psychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.

My second husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.

And my third husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was.... God, I miss him!"

超级搞笑英语笑话：Everybody

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, andNobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thoughtAnybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

超级搞笑英语笑话：Clues That You Should Get Offline

You name your children Eudora, Hyperlink and dotcom.

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overheadcompartment.

You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

You laugh at people with 28.8-baud modems.

You start using smileys in your snail mail.

You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You can't call your mother because she doesn't have a modem.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask.

You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

You tell the cab driver you live at //1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html

After reading this joke, you immediately forward it to a thousand of your closest friends.