有关幽默英语冷笑话精选

冷笑话是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，主要流传于网页，微博，贴吧等。本文是有关幽默英语冷笑话，希望对大家有帮助!

有关幽默英语冷笑话：心里难受

Feel Unhappy.

Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy?

Father: Of cause, it is.

Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time.

Father(angrily): What? You------

儿子：是不是当心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或肉体上的刺激?

父亲：那当然!

儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。

父亲(气愤地)：什么?你……

有关幽默英语冷笑话：Fried chicken

In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?

Jack thought a moment, then answered, Fried chicken, sir.

喜欢炸鸡

老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊?”

杰想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。”

有关幽默英语冷笑话：The Swimmer

The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast.

Johnny laughed.

"Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked the teacher.

"No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were."

老师给同学们讲了一个小故事，说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳，横渡三趟。

约翰尼笑了。

老师问道：“你不相信一个游泳很好的人可以做到么?”

约翰尼回答说：“不是的，先生，我是不明白他为什么不游四次，好回到他放衣服的那边。”

有关幽默英语冷笑话：Dog In Heat

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father", answered the mother, "I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

有关幽默英语冷笑话：Expanding Organ

The male teacher in a girls' school asked the science class: "Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated? Mary, can you tell me?"

Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. Then replied, "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I will complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal."

The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction. Then, as understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil, this time a volunteer.

Lilly put up her hand. "Yes, Lilly?" asked the teacher.

"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye."

"Very good. Thanks, Lilly," said the male teacher.

He then turned to the 1st girl, who threatened to complain to her parents and principal: "Well, Mary, I have 3 things to tell you:

First, you have NOT done your HOMEWORK.

Second, you have a DIRTY mind.

And thirdly, I fear, one day in future, you are going to be sadly disappointed!"