一分钟经典英语笑话大全

幽默和笑话有概念上的区别,笑话是滑稽言谈本身,幽默在这里则被作为心智和性情层面上的概念来看待。下面是小编带来的一分钟经典英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

一分钟经典英语笑话篇一

Who is uglier 谁更丑

Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, was not very handsome, and he knew.

One day, Lincoln was walking in the street when he was stopped by an ugly man. The man had apistol1 in his hand. He aimed at Lincoln's nose. Lincoln was very surprised, but he pretended to be calm. He asked the man, "What do you want, sir?"

"I have promised myself," said the man, "If I find a man who is uglier than I, I'll kill him."

Lincoln looked at the man's face carefully and said eagerly. "Please take aim at me, sir. If I was uglier than you, I would not want to live."

美国总统亚伯拉罕·林肯长得不算英俊，这他自己也知道。

一天，林肯正在街上散步，这时他突然被一个丑人拦住了。那个人手中拿着枪，瞄准林肯的鼻子。林肯非常惊讶，但是他假装镇静自若。他问那个人：“先生，你想干什么?”

“我答应过自己，”那个人说，“如果我找到一个比我更丑的人，我就毙了他。”

林肯仔细端详那个人的脸，急切地说，“请瞄准我吧，如果我比你更丑，我也不想活了。”

一分钟经典英语笑话篇二

A change of mind 回心转意

Dear Susan:

Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate1 ever since I broke off our engagement.

Simply devastated2. Won't you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never meet another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so much.

Yours always and truly.

P.s: Congratulations on you winning the state lottery3.

亲爱的苏姗：

我的小甜心。自从我解除与你的婚约后，我一直倍感孤独凄凉，简直心力交瘁。

请你考虑回到我的身边好吗?你在我心目中的地位是任何女人都无法代替的。我再也不会遇到像你这样的女人了。我是多么需要你呀。你能原谅我，让我们重新开始吗?我是多么爱你啊。

始终属于你，忠实于你的。

附注：恭喜你中了州彩票。

一分钟经典英语笑话篇三

She is on the Roof 她在屋顶上

Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat name Edgar.

"Edgar is dead," Herbert answered.

James was particularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbert meticulous1 instructions about the pet's care. At the end of his first day away, James telephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?" he asked.

There was a pause. Then James said: "Herbert, you are insensitive. You know how close I was to Edgar-you should have broken the news to me slowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said Edgar's on the roof, but you've called the fire department to get him down. And tomorrow when I called, you could have said the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they would succeed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the firemen had done their best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. then when I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had been done for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar, and, oh, before I forget," James added, "How is mother?"

"Uh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She is on the roof."

郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活，家中有一老母并养了一只猫叫埃德加。

詹姆斯特别喜欢这只猫。有一次他要外出几天，临行前不厌其烦地嘱咐郝伯特照顾好这只宠物。出门后的头一天晚上，他打来电话询问：“埃德加好吗?”

“它死了，”郝伯格回答。

一阵沉默之后，詹姆斯说：“郝伯特，你太不善解人意了，你知道我与埃德加的关系有多么好——你应该慢慢告诉我这惊人的消息。当我问起埃德加今晚怎样时，你应该说埃德加爬上了屋顶，但是你已经叫消防的救它下来。’我明天又给你打电话时，你应该说消防队营救埃德加遇到了麻烦，但你相信他们会成功。在我第三天给你打电话时，你可以说消防队员已尽了最大努力，但很不幸，埃德加从屋顶上掉了下来，现在正在兽医那里。在我最后一次给你打电话询问，你可以说尽管对埃德加做了一切所能做的努力，它还是死了。这是顾及别人感情的人应该说的。哦，对了，我刚才忘了问你，”詹姆斯补充道，“妈妈怎么样了?”

“哦……”一阵沉默后郝伯特答道，“她上了屋顶。”