最经典的英语笑话欣赏
前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。小编精心收集了最经典的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
最经典的英语笑话篇1
At Least You Get a Choice
至少你有所选择
A newly deceased sinner had just entered hell, and was being shown around.
一名罪人去世后，刚下地狱就被带往各处走走。
"I'll tell you how it works around here," declared a particularly hideous devil. "You get yourchoice of three punishments. Here's the first. "
“我将告诉你这里的状况，”一位面目可憎的魔鬼宣布道。“你必须在三种刑罚中选一个，这是第一种。”
The sinner watched in horror as he saw men and women repeatedly being immersed in boilingwater.
罪人看见男男女女反复地被浸入沸腾的热水中，吓得目瞪口呆。
"Here's the second. " The poor sinner shuddered as he saw unfortunate people beingcontinually hounded by ferocious beasts and cruel demons.
“再看第二种。”可怜的罪人看到一些不幸的人被凶恶的野兽和残酷的妖怪不停地追赶，吓得直打哆嗦。
“And here's the third. ” A group was standing knee deep in shit and sipping tea.
“这是第三种。”一群人站在深及膝部的粪池中喝茶。
"Well,this seems all right," said the sinner."I'll take this one."And he joined the group.
“这个看来还可以，我就选这个。”罪人说着便加入了那群犯人。
No sooner had he done so than another devil yelled out："OK, tea time's over. Get back onyour heads. "
就在他加入不久，一个魔鬼大声喊道：“午茶时间结束，回到头下脚上倒立的姿势。”
最经典的英语笑话篇2
Play Now Pay Later
先享受后付款
Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,
花花公子杰克喜欢到世界各地探险，和许多妓女风流，
but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more thanfond memories.
但在香港，他终于遇到一名职业神女，这名神女留给他的不止是温柔的回忆而已。
First, he consulted a British doctor.
首先他请教了一名英国医生。
"Good Lord!" exclaimed the medic,
“我的天啊!”医生叫道，
"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have toamputate. "
“你所患的性病比一本医学教科书还要丰富，恐怕我们必须把你的东西切除掉。”
Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,
花花公子心生恐惧，便找了一位美国专科医师帮忙，但那名专科医师表情凝重地摇头说：
"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "
“对不起，小兄弟，如果我们不切除那活儿，病毒将会感染到其他器官。”
Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.
那名风流公子走投无路，便向一位中医请教。
The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.
这位充满智慧的老先生仔细检查病人后煞有介事地点头说道：
"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "
“我知道你的问题。你和坏女人乱搞，她的性病很严重，你现在的病情也很严重。
“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off... "
“大夫，英国和美国的医生都说我的东西必须要切除……”
"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "
“这些西医所做的就是切，切，切，然后收一大笔钱。”
"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.
“你意思是我可以不用动外科手术?!”年轻人喜出望外地问道。
"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner.
“别担心，”老中医师说：
"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."
“回家去，好好休息一阵，等二三个星期后，那活儿会自己掉下来。”
最经典的英语笑话篇3
Down on the Farm
农场趣谈
The farmer was painting the inside of his outhouse,
一位农夫正在漆他茅房内的墙壁，
when he slipped on the seat and fell into the hole beneath.
一不小心由所坐的椅子上滑了一跤，跌落到下面的茅坑内。
"Fire! Fire! Fire!" he yelled.
“失火了!失火了!失火了!”他叫道。
Shortly, the fire department arrived and one of the firemen leaned down and asked the farmer,
不久消防队赶来了，一位消防人员弯下身来问：
"Where's the fire?"
“哪里失火了呢?”
"There ain't no fire," said the farmer,
“事实上并未失火，”农夫说，
"but would you have come if I'd yelled "Shit! Shit! Shit ! ? "
“但若是我喊“大便喔!大便喔!你们会赶来吗?”