搞笑英语笑话，英语幽默小故事
笑话作为广大人民群众喜闻乐见的文学样式,自诞生之日起就凭借其辛辣独到的讽刺手法,夸张变形的艺术构思以及背反逻辑的情节设想等语体特点而得到作家青睐。下面是小编带来的英语幽默小故事，欢迎阅读!
英语幽默小故事篇一
Only one eye to settle on 一眼看中
The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me! One of his eyes if not true. Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"I have told you." Said the go-between with justice on his side, "When you met first, I told you that he settled1 on you with one eye."
女孩找到媒人，说：“你欺骗了我。 他的一只眼是假的，你以前为什么没有告诉我?”
“我怎么没告诉你?” 媒人不甘示弱，“你们第一次见面后，我就说，他是一眼看中你的。”
英语幽默小故事篇二
The same service 同样的服务
A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor1.
"When I was first married, I was very happy, I'd come home from a hard day down at the shop, and my little dog would race around barking, and my wife would bring me my slippers2. Now everything's changed. When I come home, my dog brings me my slippers, and my wife barks at me.”
"I don't know what you're complaining about," said the counselor, "You're still getting the same service."
有位结婚十年的男人，正向婚宴顾问请教。
“新婚时我非常幸福。在市区的商店里累了一天，回到家里，小狗围着我又跑又叫，妻子给我拿拖鞋。现在一切都变了。 小狗给我叼来拖鞋，妻子对我又喊又叫。”
“我不知道你有什么可抱怨的，”顾问说，“你得到的服务还是同样的嘛。”
英语幽默小故事篇三
Lifelong ambition 毕生愿望
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.
She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate1disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.
A wild gleam came into the judges eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。
女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。
法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗?女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写500遍‘我开车闯了红灯’。”
英语幽默小故事篇四
Too traditional 太传统
A Chinese emperor ordered one of his servants to find him a hundred-year-old egg.
Returning empty-handed, the servant explained, "No hundred-year-old eggs, Master, but I can get you a fifty-year-old egg."
"No, thanks, you know I hate instant1 food!" the emperor replied.
一位中国的皇帝命令他的仆人去给他弄一个有百年历史的鸡蛋来吃。
他的仆人空手而归，对皇上解释说：“殿下，我找不到一百年的鸡蛋，但我可以给你找到一个五十年的鸡蛋。”
“不，那可不行，你知道我是讨厌速食的。”
英语幽默小故事篇五
Hands off 不要动
A friend of mine was giving an important dinner party for her husband's business associates.
She put guest towels and soap in the bathroom, and, not wanting her teenagers to use them first, attached warning notes that read:"Use these, I'll kill you."
When the guests left after a successful evening, she went into the bathroom and xiaogushi8.com found towels and soap untouched…with her warning notes still on them.
我的一位朋友为他丈夫举办了一次很重要的业务往来交往招待会。
他把客人用的毛巾、香皂都放在洗澡间。为了不让她的小孩们先把这些东西用了，她在上面贴了张条子。上面写着：用一下，我就杀了你们。
当客人们度过一个很愉快的晚上满意而去后，她来到洗澡间，发现毛巾和香皂都无人用过…因为她贴的条子还在上面。