有关短篇的英语笑话精选

冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。它是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，主要流传于网页，微博，贴吧等。小编整理了有关短篇的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

有关短篇的英语笑话：A Whole Hour 整整一小时

Mr. Brown arrived for work an hour late. His clothes were torn and tattered. He was banged and bruised, and he had one arm in a sling. His boss was purple with rage.

"It's ten o'clock," screamed the boss, "you were supposed to be here at nine. What happened?"

"I'm sorry," explained Mr. Brown, "I fell out of ten-story window."

"That took you a whole hour?"

布朗先生上班整整迟到了一小时，他衣衫不整，浑身青紫，一只胳膊上还打着绷带。他的老板怒火冲天。

“现在已经十点了，”老板咆哮着，“你九点钟就应该来的。到底发生了什么事?”

“对不起，”布朗先生解释道，“我从10层楼的窗户里摔下去了。”

“难道那也要用整整一个小时吗?”

有关短篇的英语笑话：How His Pig's Doing

Two mayors made a bet on the outcome of the Vegetable Bowl, the annual football game between their high school teams. If Arvada's team lost, the mayor of Arvada would send the mayor of Boulder ten pounds of sliced potatoes, ready for frying. If Boulder's team lost, the mayor would send ten pounds of sliced tomatoes, ready for sandwiches or salads.

Unfortunately, before the game started, the mayor of Boulder overheard(偷听) the Arvada mayor tell someone: "They grow the worst tomatoes. If they lose and send us their tomatoes, I'm going to give them all to my pig." The mayor of Boulder was upset to hear this, because he thought Boulder's tomatoes were the best in the state. So he gave the matter some thought.

The following week, the big game was played. Boulder lost its star quarterback in the first half when he tripped over a cheerleader and sprained his big toe. The quarterback glumly(忧郁地) watched the rest of the game from the bench. His team ended up losing, 38 to 12. The two mayors shook hands after the game, and the Arvada mayor said, "I'm really looking forward to those tomatoes." As the Boulder team left the stadium, some unhappy fans threw ripe tomatoes at them.

A week later, the mayor of Arvada received a package of beautifully sliced tomatoes. He took them straight to his pig, which gobbled them right up. That night the mayor of Boulder asked his wife if Arvada's mayor had called. "No," she said. "Why?" "Because I mixed a pint of hot sauce into the tomatoes and I wanted to know how his pig's doing."

有关短篇的英语笑话： 心不在焉的教授

The Absent-minded Professor

Absent-minded Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet!

Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?

Absent-minded Professor: Yes, but I thought it was mine.

心不在焉的教授：天哪!有人偷了我的钱包!

妻子：你难道没感觉到一只手伸进你的口袋?

心不在焉的教授：感觉到了，可我还以为那是我的手呢。

有关短篇的英语笑话：The Umbrella 雨伞

A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back."

一位住在旅馆的绅士把他的雨伞放在了大厅里，不过他在伞柄上系了一张卡片，上面写道，“此伞属于一位能举百磅的绅士。我将在十分钟内回来。”当他回来时，发现雨伞已经不翼而飞，取而代之的是另一张卡片，上面写着：“此卡是一位一小时能跑十英里的人留下的，我将永远不回来了。”

有关短篇的英语笑话：Psychiatrist 精神病医生

Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink.

"Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" "Ain't nobody under there now!"

杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了!”

“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。

六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢?”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗?有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”

“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了!”