英语小笑话演讲稿带翻译

冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。小编精心收集了英语小笑话演讲稿带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!

英语小笑话演讲稿带翻译：伊甸园

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?"

亚当在伊甸园里走来走去，感到十分的孤独。上帝问亚当:“你怎么了?”

Adam said, "I don’t have anyone to talk to.”

亚当说:“我连个说话的人都没有。”

God said，"I will give you a companion and it will be a woman.” He said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make, she will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.”

上帝说:“我会给你找个伴儿，她就是一个女人。”上帝接着说:“这个人会为你煮饭，洗衣服，她会时时刻刻同意你的意见，她还会为你生儿育女，而且从不会让你在半夜里起床照顾孩子。她更不会唠叨。她总是第一个承认自己错了。当你们有分歧的时候，她也不会头痛，在你需要的时候，她仍旧会毫无保留地给你她全部的爱和热情。”

"She will not nag,” God continued, "and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement, she will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever needed.”

亚当问上帝:“想得到这个女人，我要付出什么代价?”

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God said, "An arm and a Leg!”

上帝说:“一条胳膊和一条腿。”

Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

亚当说:“那一根肋骨能换什么?”

AND THE REST IS HISTORY.

于是就有了后来的人类历史。

英语小笑话演讲稿带翻译：逛购物中心

A boy and his father visiting from a third world country were at Lakeside Mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

一对来自第三世界国家的父子来到了湖岸购物中心。他们被眼前的一切惊呆了，特别是两面发光的银墙，这墙不但可以分开，还可以合上。

The boy asked his father, "What is this father?" The father responded, "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!”

儿子问父亲:“爸爸，这是什么?”爸爸回答说:“儿子，我这辈子还从来没见过这东西呢，我也不知道这是什么。”

While the boy and his father were watching wide一eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving wails and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 years old woman stepped out.

这对父子睁大了眼睛，他们看见一位坐轮椅的老太太，摇到那面会移动的墙面前按了一下按钮，墙打开了，老太太摇着轮椅从两面墙的中间穿了过去，进了一个小屋子里。墙合上了。男孩和他的爸爸看到墙上闪动着的写有数字的小圆灯在向上移动。他们又看到那小圆灯又向相反的方向移动。墙打开了，从里面走出一位约24岁迷人的女人。

The father said to his son, "Go to get your mother".

爸爸对儿子说:“走，快去把你妈叫来。”

英语小笑话演讲稿带翻译：用了一根棍子，就进了监狱

David St. John, 37，was the victim last week of what police say was a terrible mistake.

37岁的大卫·斯特·约翰，上周成了警察犯的一个大错误的牺牲品。

The two Hayward police officers used their batons to hit St. John, who they didn' t realize was blind，after mistaking his collapsible cane for an illegal martial arts weapon, said Lt. Mitchell Penn, the police department' s internal affairs officer.

警察署的内务警官米切尔·潘说，两名看守警察用警棍打了约翰先生，因为他们没有注意到约翰是一位盲人，错把他的折叠拐杖当作了一种违法的两节棍。

"It was a very regrettable incident,” Penn said Tuesday. "But from what I've seen so far it's not a case of overzealous officers. They had no idea he was blind-they were extremely upset when they found out.”

“这是一桩让人非常抱歉的案子。”潘在星期二时说:“但从我们所分析的情况来看，这不是由于警员过于认真造成的，而是他们确实不知道他是盲人—当他们知道真实情况后，后悔末及。”

Field training officer Eric Ristram said St. John placed in his pants pocket what appeared to be a nunchaku, a martial arts weapon consisting of two round sticks of wood connect by a chain.

野外训练军官伊瑞克·瑞斯姆说:“约翰裤兜里放着一个东西，看上去像是一根两节棍，它是由两个可旋转的木棍组成的，中间被一条链连着。”

The officers thought the man could see their uniforms so they didn't identify themselves when they told St. John to hand over the contents of his pockets. St. John said later he thought he was about to be mugged.

警官在让约翰交出兜里的东西时，以为约翰可以通过他制服来判断他的身份，所以没有出示证件，而约翰说他还以为自己遭劫了呢。