超级爆笑英语笑话大全
笑话是幽默的一个属概念 ,具有幽默的一切特征。笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。小编精心收集了超级爆笑英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
超级爆笑英语笑话篇一
很高兴认识你
During World War Two, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
第二次世界大战期间，英国的许多青年妇女在军中服役。琼·菲利普斯就是其中的一个。她在一个大军营里工作，自然结识了许多男人，既有军官，又有士兵。
One evening she met Captain Humphrey at a dance. He said to her, "I' m going abroad tomorrow, but I'd be very happy if we could write to each other.” Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
一天晚上，她在舞会上认识了汉弗莱兹上尉。他对她说:“明天我将出国，如果我们能相互通信，我将非常高兴。”琼同意了。他们书信来往，数月不断。
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
后来他的来信中断了，但她收到另一位军官的来信，信中告诉她汉弗莱兹受了伤，现住在英国某陆军医院里。
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I've come to visit captain Humphrey.”
琼找到那家医院，对护士长说:“我来探望汉弗莱兹上尉。”
Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
“这里只允许亲属探望病人。”护士长说。
“Oh, that' s all right，”answered Joan." I'm his sister.”
“哦，那好吧，”琼回答说:“我是他妹妹。”
"I’m very pleased to meet you ,”the matron said，"I' m his mother!”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说:“我是他的母亲。”
超级爆笑英语笑话篇二
向老外借钱发音不准所闹的笑话
上午10点，coffee break. 由于早上没吃早饭，肚子有点饿。来到lunch room, 便想从 售货机里买包 peanut butter cracker (0.5美元)充饥。掏出钱包一看，钱包里只有一个quarter (老婆真够可以的)，心想，这下惨了, 又不能刷卡。
看到同一办公室的老美同事Stephen (65岁左右)正坐在那里喝咖啡，于是便冲他喊道 ：“Stephen, do you have a dollar?”
Stephen: I have three.
Me: One is enough.
Stephen: Too late.
Me : ??? (Too late? 他花了?还是他不愿意借?老美真够小气的，一块钱都不愿意借)。
没办法，只好又到另一个办公室找一中国人借了一块钱。
回到售货机旁，刚想把钱塞进去，Stephen 走了过来：“Oh, I thought you were asking for my daughter”.
超级爆笑英语笑话篇三
苏格兰人和售票员
A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector.
一个苏格兰人拎着一个很大的箱子，在开往伦敦的公交车上，这辆车已经行驶了五英里了。他时刻都想着避开售票员逃票。
Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up: "You've been on for five miles一that’ll be 50 pennies, please, and 10 pennies for your suitcase.”
后来售票员还是发现了他，叫他补票。“你已经坐了五英里了，5O便士，你的箱子还要交10便士。”
The Scotsman responds: "I haven’t, I want to have a penny fare，just got on this very moment.” They begin to argue, and the ticket collector become more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman’s suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus.
那个苏格兰人答道:“我没有，我刚刚才上来，我想只掏一便士的车钱。”于是他们开始吵了起来，售票员越听越生气。最后当车子行驶到伦敦大桥时他抓起苏格兰人的那个大箱子顺着车窗扔了出去。
It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "Not only are you treat to overcharge me for the ticket一but now you're gone a drowned my boy Jenny.”
箱子掉进了河里沉了下去。那个苏格兰人在那里怔了片刻，然后对售票员说:“你不但想超收我的车钱，还淹死了我的儿子强尼。”