英语幽默小短文欣赏_幽默英语短文阅读
幽默带来悟力和宽容，冷嘲则带来深刻而不友善的理解。小编整理了英语幽默小短文，欢迎阅读!
英语幽默小短文篇一
A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.
一只瞎眼的兔子和一只瞎眼的蛇相遇了。它们俩都知道自己是什么动物，但不知道对方是什么，于是它们都决定试试对方
The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.
兔子说：“你先摸摸我。”蛇同意了，它摸了一下兔子。
He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..."
蛇说：“额，你全身都有皮毛，有一个小棉球似的尾巴，耳朵很长，后腿很粗壮…”
The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake.
兔子说，“我知道!我是只兔子!耶!”然后兔子摸了一下蛇。
He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..."
兔子说，“好吧，你长长的细细的，全身都滑溜溜的，还有一根分叉的舌头…”
The snake says, "Oh no! I'm a lawyer."
蛇说：“不!我是个律师”
英语幽默小短文篇二
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
一位职业猎人带着妻子和岳母一块去游猎。一个傍晚，丛林深处，夫人突然发现母亲不见了。她坚持两个人都要努力去找到母亲。
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
猎人拿起了他的来福，喝了一大口威士忌，开始找人。在营地不远处，他们看到了一个令人震惊的地方：岳母背对着一大丛灌木，一只雄狮正看着她。
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
夫人哭道：“我们该怎么办?”
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
“没什么”，猎人丈夫说道，“狮子自己走进这么乱的地方的，让他自己出来吧。”
英语幽默小短文篇三
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
一个男人摇摇晃晃地走进了急诊室，两个眼睛是青的，脖子上有明显的五指印。
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
医生问他发生了什么。“额，是这样的，”这个人说。“我和我老婆来了几局高尔夫，她把球打到一个牛群里。”
"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.
“我们去找这个球，我四下搜索，发现一头牛的屁股后面有个白色的东西。”
"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
“我走过去，举起了它的尾巴想看清楚，我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中间。然后我犯了一个错误。”
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
“你干嘛了?”医生问。
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
“额，我举起了牛的尾巴，对我老婆喊道，'这个好像是你的!'”