适合小学生的英语笑话精选

2017-05-22

近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。小编分享适合小学生的英语笑话,希望可以帮助大家!

适合小学生的英语笑话:who's heart is better

A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. "you're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker".

The man quickly responds, "The attorney's".

"Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"

The man says, "I already know enough. Social workers have bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his. So I'll take the attorney's!"

一个人心脏病突发被送进了医院。医生告诉他除非马上做心脏移植手术,否则他将活不成了。“你很幸运,我们刚好有两个心脏在这儿,所以你必须选择其中一个。它们分别属于一个律师和一个社会工作者。”

病人很快回答:“律师的那个。”

“等等!在作决定之前,难道你不需要了解多一点他们的情况吗?”

病人说:“我知道的够多的了。社会工作者都是热心人,而律师可能从来都没有用过他的良心。所以我选择律师的心脏。”

适合小学生的英语笑话:Three Government Contractors

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked. "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then sue the landowners for lots of money?"

Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partners and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.

"No, no." one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."

一位美国律师刚结束他在意大利一所法律学校的客座演讲,就有一位意大利律师走近他问:“听说在你们国家里,一个人跌倒在人行道上,他就会起诉这块地的所有者赔偿很多钱,这是真的吗?”

得知这是真的后,意大利律师转向他的同行开始用意大利语快速谈论起来。当他们停下来后,美国律师问他们是否想去美国做法律工作。

“不,不,”有一个人回答说,“我们要去美国跌倒在人行道上。”

适合小学生的英语笑话:Car Trouble

A Rabbi, a Monk, and a lawyer are riding down the road when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.

Spotting a farmhouse they walk over and tell the farmer they need a place to stay the night while they wait for a tow.

"I've got room in the house for two of you but someones gonna have to sleep in the barn." says the farmer.

The Rabbi say's, "I've no problem with that, I'll go." He leaves.

Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Rabbi is there.

He says, "Sir there is a pig in that barn; in my religion pigs are unclean, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a pig."

The Monk speaks up and says, "I have no problem with pigs I'll go sleep in the barn." He leaves.

Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Monk is there.

"Sir there is a cow in that barn; in my religion cows are sacred, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a cow.

The lawyer responds, "I'll go sleep in the barn, I've got no religion." He leaves.

Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the pig and the cow are standing there.

适合小学生的英语笑话:Coffee break 咖啡时间

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work.

The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside them is numbered."

"I think librarians are the easiest," said the second. "When you open them up, all their organs are arranged alphabetically."

The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. Their organs are color-coded."

"You're all wrong," said, the fourth. "Lawyers are easiest. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asset are interchangeable."

四个医生边喝咖啡休息边讨论他们的工作。

第一个说,“我认为给会计手术最容易,因为他们的器官都有编号。”

“我觉得图书管理员最容易。”第二个说, “他们的器官都按字母顺序排列。”

第三个医生说,“我喜欢给电工手术,他们的器官都有带颜色的编码。”

“你们都错了”,第四个说,“律师是最容易的,他们没心、没肠、没骨头,而且他们的脑子用钱就能换掉。”

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