经典爆笑英文小笑话大全

互联网不仅是我们生活中不可缺少的，而且也是我们工作学习之余缓解压力、舒缓情绪的重要渠道。正是由于我们有这样的需要，网络笑话得以繁荣兴盛。小编整理了经典爆笑英文小笑话，欢迎阅读!

经典爆笑英文小笑话：I'm a chicken 我是一只鸡

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

精神病医师：你哪里不舒服?

病人：我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的?

病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

经典爆笑英文小笑话：Monkey and Policeman 猴子与警察

A policeman took a monkey to his boss. The boss asked, "What kind of monkey business are you getting up to?" He said, "This monkey was wandering on the streets, not following any of the rules. I'm turning him in". The boss said, "Oh, my God! You're so dumb! If you catch a monkey, you have to take it to the zoo. Why bring it to me. Take it to the zoo!" So the policeman took the monkey out.

Three or four days later, he was seen again, holding the monkey's hand. He took the monkey to the police car, opened the door,put it in, and was about to drive away. The boss saw this, ran out, and asked, "Oh, my God! How come the monkey is still here? I told you to take it to the zoo". The policeman replied, "Yes, sir. I've already taken him to the zoo. Today, I'm taking him to see a movie".

有一位警察大哥带了只猴子给他上司看，他上司就说他：“你搞什么猴子把戏?”警察大哥说：“这猴子在大街上到处乱跑，什么法律都不懂，我把它捉了回来，治它的罪。”上司说：“天啊天，你怎么那么笨?捉到猴子就把它带到动物园去嘛，带给我干嘛?带它到动物园去。”后来那警察大哥就带了猴子出去了。

三、四天后还看见他跟猴子手拉手打开警车门让猴子坐进去，正准备开车，他上司跑了出来说他：“天啊，为什么到现在还把猴子留在这儿，我不是叫你把它带到动物园去的吗?为什么还在这儿?”警察大哥：“我有呀!我已经带它去了动物园，今天带它去看电影!”

经典爆笑英文小笑话：Tie and water

A man was crawling across the desert dying of thirst, when a camel raced up and stopped. An Arab jumped down, opened a suitcase and said, "Would you like to buy a tie?" "No,"said the man, 'I need water, do you have water?' 'No,' said the Arab,' but I do have a wonderful selection of ties.' He rode off, and the unfortunate man continued crawling across the hot sand until he came to a beautiful Hotel. He crawled up the step, crying: 'Water! Water!' The manager approached him and said, 'I'm sorry Sir, you can't come in here without a Tie!'

经典爆笑英文小笑话：Logic 哪一门逻辑

Two people were going fishing. They went a long way to buy the equipment, bait and a video camera. Then they drove to the seaside. The roads were bad, and their car was badly damaged, with dents here and there. Most of their equipment was damaged, too.

After they reached the seaside, they caught only one fish. One of them said, "Business was really bad today. Do you know how much we spent on this one fish alone?"

The other answered, "Of course, I do. We spent two thousand dollars on just this one. It is a little too much!"

The first person then said, "Good thing we didn't catch more, or the costs would have been even higher. Two thousand dollars for one fish!"

有两个人去捕鱼，他们走了很长的路，买了很多工具、 食物和录影器材等，然后开车去海边。由于路不好走， 因此车子撞得乱七八糟，破这边、破那边，工具也损坏很多。

到海边后，他们只捕到一条鱼，其中一个人讲：“今天亏本了，你知道我们花了多少钱才捕到这条鱼吗?”

另一个人说：“当然知道，我们花了两千块美金才捕到， 太过分了一点!”

第一个人说：“还好没有捕更多，不然就更亏本了，每一条鱼要两千块美金啊!”

经典爆笑英文小笑话：A piece of yellow paper

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled(迷惑) me because the only true colors are cyan(蓝绿色), magenta(洋红), and yellow.

I had the customer change ink cartridges, delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas.

After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"