关于爆笑英语笑话系列

2017-05-05

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关于爆笑英语笑话:If I Wasn't Rich

A Rich old man, who inherited all his money from his father, one day asks his young wife: "Honey, would you still have married me if my father didn't leave me with all this money?".

His wife smiles gently and answers: "Sure honey, you know I would marry you no matter who gave you the money".

关于爆笑英语笑话:3 Times A Cheater

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, when Jack asks his wife, “Betty, have you ever cheated on me?”

Betty replies, “Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question.”

“Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please.”

“Well, all right. Yes, three times…”

“Three?!? Well, when were they?” he asked.

“Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years-old and you really wanted to start a business on your own, and no bank would give you a loan? But, then one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?”

“Oh, Betty, you did that for me? I guess I can’t be too upset about that. Well, when was number 2?”

“Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and needed that very riskyoperation that no surgeon was willing to perform? And, remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to perform the surgery himself?”

“Betty, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life. To do such a thing, you must truly love me darling. How can I be upset with that?”

“So, all right then, when was number 3?”

“Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?”

关于爆笑英语笑话:Where Babies Come From

A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?"

"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

"But then when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?"

关于爆笑英语笑话:Wonderful Threesome

The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said, "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."

"I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us," she replied.

关于爆笑英语笑话:Devil's Voice

The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'"

"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!"

"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too!"

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