爆笑的小学生英语小笑话
笑话中人物对“合作原则”四准则有意无意的违反常常产生幽默。下面是小编带来的爆笑的小学生英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
爆笑的小学生英语小笑话大全
(一)
If I Am a Manager
如果我是一个经理
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.
一天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。
“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.
“我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。
(二)
A Man of Actions
一个言出必行的人
A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have nodoubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said tome this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”
一群学生聚在牛津的校园里，一个年轻人情绪激动地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那个家伙不收回他今早 对我说的话，我今晚就离开牛津。”
A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should wesupport him and learn from him!” said another.
下面一片喧哗。“真是个言出必行的人。”一个人艳羡地说。另一个说：“我们要支持他、学习他。”
Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”
突然，一个女孩问道：“那家伙对你说什么了，霍波?”
He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er•••er•••Miss Rose, er•••he told me to get clean awayfrom Oxford this very evening!”
他弯下腰小声说：“哦，呃…呃…，罗斯小姐，呃…他说要我今晚从牛津滚出去。”
爆笑的小学生英语小笑话欣赏
(一)
第一次坐飞机 First Flight
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about airaccidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr.Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that itwas very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson hadheard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he wasextremely frightened and closed his eyes.
他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and saidto his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"
过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是?”
"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."
“那些就是蚂蚁，”他的朋友答道，“我们还在地面上。”
(二)
第一次与最后一次 My First and My Last
When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon becamevery good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.
乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane.Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, soI'll go."
乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想，“我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。”
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.
升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend ina shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."
后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说：“乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。”
Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"
乔治非常吃惊地问：“两次飞行?”
"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.
“是的，我的第一次和最后一次。”马克答道。
经典的爆笑的小学生英语小笑话
(一)
Compliment
恭维话
"Larry! Come here!" said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, " I’ve just had a callfrom Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night. Youwretched, rude boy!"
“拉里，你过来!”妈妈放下电话后生气地说，“我刚才接到哈里森夫人地电话，她告诉我你在昨晚的学校舞会上对多丽丝行为不好，你可耻，粗鲁!”
"I was nice to her, Mum, really I was!" protested the youth."I even paid her a compliment whenwe had a dance."
“妈妈，我对她很好，真的!”小伙子不服气地说。“当我和她跳舞时我还说了一句恭维她的话。”
"Did you, indeed?" said his mother grimly, "And what exactly did you say?"
“你真的这么做的吗?”妈妈严厉地问。“你的原话是怎么说的?”
"I said, Gosh, Doris, you sweat less than any fat girl I’ve ever danced with!"
“我说，啊呀，多丽丝，你比我跳过舞的任何胖姑娘出汗都少!”
(二)
其余的事由我负责 I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on theplatform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”